You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out to sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free.
A Woman’s Permission Slip
This morning my grandson George’ brought me a permission slip to sign while I was still half a sleep and had not even the taste of coffee on my lips. My eyes were still half closed when he said, “Nana, I need you to sign here.”
As I was still yawning and rubbing my eyes, I said, “What is this?”
George’ said, “Just sign this Nana, it’s just my progress report.”
“There’s nothing on this, George’ why should I sign a blank piece of paper?” So I sent his slip back with a note to his teacher asking her to fill in the blanks, then I will be happy to sign the slip.
I thought a lot about this blank slip throughout the day; then I thought about my life. All the blank permission slips I did sign while I was half a sleep. For instance, signing on a car loan while my emotions were a sleep. Or allowing myself to be swept away by some guy who happened to say the right words when my heart was broken. Making choices while emotionally asleep.
For years, I signed permission slips to abusive relationships. I stood on the shore of regret wondering what my life would have been like if I just took the time read between the lines of these permission slips. I have paid the price of laziness and suffered the consequence. I can not go backwards and tear all those slips to pieces; but I can change my ways. I can take time now to learn to walk freely. So now I will write my own permission slip.
“MY PERMISSION SLIP”
I now stand here on shoreline of my life; not knowing where the waves of life will take us. I give you permission to love, honor and respect me as a woman. I give you permission to love me unconditionally. To lift me up when I fall; and hold me close when I feel afraid.
I am a precious stone, a jewel more precious than gold. I am a diamond in the Hands of it’s Maker. I need you to polish me with loving kindnesses. Speak gently to me. (Isaiah 62, Psalm 45)
When I am sick be by my side; and caress me. If I am sad or worried, don’t try to fix me, just sit with me for a while.
You do not have permission to relieve yourself on me, by any means of frustrations, anger, resentment, abuse in any form; such as, physical, mental, manipulation nor emotional. Never talk dirty to me; nor tell me any of your dirty jokes. There not funny! While in public places; hold me close to you and show everyone that I am still your girl. Respect me in all places, not just in front of anyone.
If I am quiet, let me be, some day’s you will wish for a few quiet days. Don’t ask me what’s wrong then turn around and tell me what you think is wrong with me (Job). Wait awhile, pray for me, then when I am ready to talk I will; and even so, I am still not giving you permission to voice your opinions on me. Listen, listen closely and I might ask your advise; but even so, still pray and ask the Lord to give His Word through you.
Call me babe out of affections not out of ownership. I am not your property; I am a woman, sometimes mysterious and my well is deep. Speak life over me, and I will give you drink from my fountains of refreshing springs. If you tear me down, then all you will get is muddy waters.
If I need to talk, then listen with your eyes and ears. Turn off the television or computer and look me in the eyes as I speak.
If I don’t do things the way you would, and make a mistake don’t tell me how you would have done it. Get the broom and help me clean it up. Be assured that I know what mess I have made, and won’t do it again.
Make love to me as if it were the first time and will be the last. Kiss me gently, caress me as though you were caressing your boat. You don’t have permission to throw hurtful words at me like darts. I am not your dart board! I understand that you are not perfect and you will make mistakes; but be honest enough to take responsibility for your actions and just say your sorry. Don’t try to blackmail me with jewels, trips or stuff. I assure you, that’s just more junk added to the wound that will someday infect our relationship. If you didn’t do these things and lost me; then let me go. It just means that I was never meant to stand arm in arm with you on the shore.
He saw that Fatima’s eyes were filled with tears.
“I’m a woman of the desert,” she said, averting her face.
“But above all, I’m a woman.”